You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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