dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
