That's intense
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
