I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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