Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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