apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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