dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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