I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
