She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize