piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
