I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Randomize
