Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
