Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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