He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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