Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize