you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
