you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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