My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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