Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
