3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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