i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and she was petting her beer can
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
