the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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