New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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