one might say we're banned from that church
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Also, beer. Big fan.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
