I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
