i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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