Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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