What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
