Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
