Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
