You made me cry and you don't even care
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
