I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
