i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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