Umm I'm too high to move.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
