Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I looked at my own cervix.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
