Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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