two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
