i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
