Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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