SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
