She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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