he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
