My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
