just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
