is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
