Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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