She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize