i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
is wine microwaveable?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
