Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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