Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
420 ftw
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
