so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize