maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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