question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
