he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
