I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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