Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
