Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
