How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
